Diatribe-1 from Founder#2 (dated 10-22-2007)

Dear Middle Class Right-wing Republicans:

Go ahead and laugh.  The banks will own you soon.

Your bullshit "Trickle-Down Reagan Voodoo Economics"  has failed, it has bankrupted the middle class, forced our jobs overseas, devalued our dollar, and handed the Constitution to corporations (and we all know they ALWAYS do things in the interest of the public good, right, Exxon/Mobil, Ford Motor Co., United Health, Phillip Morris, Enron, MCI, WalMart, et. al?).  When the only jobs left for our children are fast food WalMart greeters at the convenience store run by the Pakastani immigrants who live on the rich side of town, don't come bitching to me about it.

Go ahead and laugh, you 24%-ers.

Your fake President and his daddy's cronies have lied us into World War III and they're at it again.  Do you realize that these people have had these plans for total global domination since the LATE '50's?  Seriously, these are Nazis with great big yellow smiley-face t-shirts (and an American Flag lapel pin).  Your children will be their cannon fodder for a war fought over oil.  Congratulations.

Go ahead and laugh.  Cuz they're laughing at you.

While you waste your time sending around bullshit email demonizing Hillary Clinton, Barack "Osama" Obama, Michael Moore, Hollywood, gay marriage, rap music, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, women - basically anything that's not "White Christian Male" - your government is lying, stealing, cheating, killing, torturing, hiding, silencing, kidnapping, etc., all in YOUR NAME.  The so-called "Constitution of the United States" (remember... "We The People"?) has been riven, scorched, dashed, pierced, and inhumed.  Dick Cheney and his cadre of characters right out of Star Wars has done everything in his power to emasculate the greatest document ever written and turn all of its powers over to the All Powerful Unitary Executive who no longer answers to either the Judicial or Legislative branch of our government.  The REAL reason these people are scared shitless of the inevitability of President Hillary Clinton is that she will wield all the power that they have managed to grab for themselves.  The ultimate irony is...THEY CREATED THE MONSTER THAT WILL EAT THEM ALIVE.

Now who's laughing, asshole?

The bottom line is this...you're either A) Illiterate B) Retarded or C) Too lazy to care.  The truth is out there.  You don't want to do the work for yourself to read it, but prefer to regurgitate carefully scripted talking points fed to you by the most reprehensible liars to ever occupy our planet: Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage-Weiner, Bill O'Reilly, Michelle Malkin, Tony Snow, Dana Perino, Scott McClellan, Ari Fleischer, et. al.  Possibly, you are incapable of doing this for yourself, which I guess makes you retarded.  If this is the case, then I suppose we can have pity on you.  The fact of the matter is, you're too intellectually lazy to care.  You're content to sit on your big, fat, McDonaldland ass, watching NASCAR, and drinking your Miller Lite.  Hey, you're comfortable, right?   You have what you need: your SUV, your jet-ski's, your 5000sq ft. house, your satellite TV, your high-speed internet.  Why the fuck should you care about anyone else?

"We've got ours - Fuck You"  That should be the Republican's campaign slogan.

Go ahead and laugh.  I hope you're behind the walls of your gated community because the revolution IS coming...and it won't be pretty.


Diatribe-2 from Founder#2 (dated 10-22-2007)

Subject: My Daddy the Republican
 
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
 
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's a hypocritical Republican Senator who cruises for gay sex in men's airport bathrooms while preaching against the evils of gay marriage while at the same time trying to push through legislation bloviating about the "Sanctity of Marriage" between "One Man and One Woman."  Sometimes, he takes filthy money from large corporations to vote against the best interest of his constituents.  Like the time he took a huuuuuge paycheck from Phillip Morris PAC members even though he knows smoking causes cancer.  He says he believes in the Constitution, but voted to give the President unlimited powers, rescinded the 4th Amendment, and voted to eliminate health care for children.  He says he's "Pro-Life" but refuses to do anything to end a bloody, unjustified pre-emptive war against a country that did nothing to us.  He supports a president who's father was involved in the "Arms for Hostages" scandal of the 1980's and whose grandfather had direct business ties to Adolph Hitler."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside.  "Jesus Christ!" the teacher whispered, "your father is a real douchebag!"


Diatribe-3 from Founder#2 (dated 10-26-2007)

Wow...[wistfully] remember the "Good ole Days" when we could joke about a Presidential Blowjob ruining ONE man's marriage instead of how the fucking Nazi fascists are taking over the entire country by destroying our constitution, bankrupting our treasury, killing HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of INNOCENT Iraqi citizens, ruining our education, health, and social systems, spying on our citizens, installing intellectually deficient incompetent yes-men at high level cabinet positions, and ignoring the will of the people of the United States?  [sigh].

Boy, I sure miss being able to joke about Blowjobs.

 
Diatribe-4 from Founder#2 (dated 10-26-2007)
(excerpted from www.bartcop.com)

"What is not yet settled is the history of the Clintons--their use and abuse of power.
  That's important because, if Hillary wins, 'we're talking about a restoration.'"
     -- Carl Bernstein, (R-Groin Pull) looking past Bush felonies to investigate Clinton's sex life
 
 I wonder what "abuses of power" Bernstein is so worked up about?
 Could it be Clinton's fake war that killed 4,000 soldiers?
 Could it be Clinton saber-rattling a barrel of oil all the way up to $90?
 Could be it the outing of a CIA agent, then pardoning the guilty bastard?
 Could it be the secret spying and phone taps and e-mail abuses?
 Maybe he's talking about when Clinton suspended habeus corpus?
 Or could it be the kidnapping and renditions that's got him so hot?
 Or the secret torture prisons Clinton set up in the Balkans?


Diatribe-5 from Founder#2 (dated 10-26-2007) 

This is going to be like an internet scavenger hunt.  Except it will be for knowledge, insights, and terrifying truth.  Interested?

Here you go... I will give you a couple of phrases and names for you to Google, Yahoo, Wiki or whatever you do to look stuff up on the internets.

OK, ready?  Here we go.

Start with: Prescott Bush

Next, look up: The MacGuire Affair

Then: "The Business Plot"

After that: Ted Shackley and George H. W. Bush

We're rounding third base: "American Enterprise Institute"

And Finally: "Bush fascism"

You will spend approximately 90-120 minutes and your head may or may not explode.

Good luck.


Diatribe-6 from Founder#2 (dated 10-31-2007) 

OK, the shit has gone far enough...

First, they fake an attack on our country.
Then they dismantle our Constitution
The spying on our citizens begins
The rhetoric ratchets up
A bloody, unjust, immoral war begins
Torture is acceptable means of extracting information
Dissent is squelched
Sabres are being rattled again for another fake war

But now...

NOW THEY'RE FUCKING WITH THE BOSS:
Link

...I'm PISSED.


Diatribe-7 from Founder#2 (dated 11-10-2007)
(from HBO's "Real Time" with Bill Maher)

…and finally…NEW RULE…if the choice in ’08 is between Rudy and Hillary, “Values Voters” must do the Christian thing and choose Hillary, (of course I believe all religion is nuts, but) at least she practices it the way Jesus suggested – privately – like a Dick Cheney energy meeting.  Plus, she’s raised an admirable daughter while Rudy’s children couldn’t hate him any more if they were NYC firefighters.  And let’s not forget, Hillary didn’t commit adultery, her husband did and afterwards, she did the Christian thing and forgave him…and then she had a GPS unit installed in his penis…but the important thing is - she forgave him! 

Now, I bring all this up because this week in Washington is the Values Voters Convention…3 days of Peace, Love, and Hypocrisy.  Where the Republican frontrunners will spend the week kissing the asses of 2000 social conservatives who despise liberals, homosexuals, Muslims, Mexicans, and Nobel Prize winners.  And who believe that the sound of a condom wrapper being opened causes angels to die.  It’s kinda like a Star Trek convention except the virgins are angry and they think outer space is just a theory.  So, Ann Coulter, if you’ve got any more faggot jokes, this is the room for you.

But here’s something I learned while indulging one of my traditional values – reading.  According to the US census bureau, the states with the most conservative Christians have the highest rates of divorce, the highest teen pregnancy rates, and the highest obesity levels.  Yes, they’re fat, knocked-up, and not talking to each other, but at least they’ve put homosexuality back where it belongs – in the airport men’s room. 

Now, I know what you Values Voters are saying right now, “Why should we listen to you, Bill Maher, you’re a bachelor from heathen California, what do you know about Family Values?”  Well, I know enough not to get married and live in Kansas. 

And I know that if you can look at the war in Iraq, the melting environments, and the descent into idiocracy, and still think our biggest problems are boobies during the Superbowl and the War on Christmas, then you don’t have values, you have ISSUES.

If you had values, you’d draw the line at torture, but a startling number of people who call themselves Christian don’t. I’m pretty sure if you asked “What Would Jesus Veto?” it wouldn’t be healthcare for sick kids.  It’s almost like Values Voters don’t really believe Jesus was right about anything: [sotto voce] “Jesus Christ – wrong on gays, wrong on taxes, wrong on torture…and wrong for America!”


Diatribe-1 from Founder#1 (dated 11-14-2007)

I'm deeply concerned over the role the Catholic Church has taken historically & continues to make in Politics.  If this view makes me a  falling Catholic, then maybe that's the case.  How can the rights of  the living not trump the rights of the potential living?

I believe Catholic priests who molest children should be prosecuted and not coddled and moved to another parish.  Clearly, it would be impossible for them to believe all I believe and visa versa.  If they (The Catholic Church) want my Time, Treasure, & Talent, they should
appreciate the views of all & avoid telling me how to vote.

Bewildered


Diatribe-8 from Founder#2 (dated 12-7-2007)

The one question I would love to see answered by all politicians who make the claim, "Islamofascists hate our freedom" is "WHY?"  Why do they hate us?

I'm pretty certain they don't hate us because of McDonald's.  They don't hate us because of Levi's blue jeans.  They don't hate us because of Pontiac GTO's.  They don't hate us because of Bruce Springsteen.  They don't hate because of our bikinis.  They don't hate us because of MTV.  They don't hate us because of the New York Yankees (well, maybe).

They hate us because we keep coming into their backyard and fucking around with their lives.  We've been doing this since the 1950's and these people in the Middle East are sick of it.  They want us to go away.  THAT'S WHY THEY HATE US.  And wouldn't you?  All Osama bin Laden wanted was for us to get out of Saudi Arabia.  That's it.  What if some foreign country parked their asses in the US and kept taking our natural resources away from us at the point of a gun?  Maybe it hasn't been as overt as that, but we have been meddling in Middle Eastern affairs for the last 50 years - all for the love of oil.  The power brokers have finally installed their Manchurian Candidate in the White House and all foreign policy is dictated by Exxon/Mobil.

And now, just to make things REALLY interesting, you've got a bunch of fundamentalist, end-time Christians running around in Washington trying to start nuclear Armageddon with Iran just so Jesus can come back and save Israel.  John Bolton, Pat Robertson, Paul Wolfowitz, James Baker, Bill Kristol, Dick Cheney, et. al., want nothing but total global thermonuclear war.  The funny thing is, they've stated it openly - they're not trying to hide their naked ambitions.  Take some time to read the manifesto of the Project for the New American Century.  These people are willing to give up several million US fatalities in a full-scale nuclear war like pawns in a chess game in exchange for permanent global hegemony.

WTF?!?

What have we done to this country?  How have we allowed ourselves to be lulled into complacency so that when our elected leaders COMMIT A BLATANT CRIME (http://www.motherearth.org/bushwanted/laws.php) or worse yet, TAKE AWAY OUR CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS (http://www.rense.com/general69/paper.htm), most people just yawn and switch the TV over to "American Idol."  Why don't we hold them accountable?  Why is it when the people we elected to do a job for us refuse to do that job, we don't run them out of town?  The people in Washington know that 99% of our population are too lazy, too poor, too uneducated, and too scared to do anything about it - and that empowers them to act with impunity.  They have fed us nothing but fear and bullshit in order to keep us in line.  They've taken away our Constitution.  Dissent is shouted down and called Unpatriotic.  The media is wholly owned by supporters of the regime and kept under a watchful eye of those in the White House.  Anyone who speaks out is demonized as "supporting the terrorists."  These are true Nazi tactics and anyone who would question that statement doesn't know the first fucking thing about history.  The list of criminals, liars, and hypocrites running around D.C. would fill the phone book of a town the size of Ft. Wayne.

If we, "Liberals" and "Conservatives" alike, do not join together to demand that our leaders start acting like true leaders and return our nation to the path that our founders envisioned, then I fear the corporatists, evangelicals, and FASCISTS (look it up), will take over this country. 

If they haven't already.


Diatribe-2 from Founder#1 (dated 12-7-2007)

I guess the biggest problem I have with illegal immigration is the fact they wouldn't be here in the first place if our government cracked down on illegal employment.  Here's a solution to those streaming into America unchecked..stop giving them work.  No job unless you're legal.  no drivers license unless you're legal.  No business starting ability, No Bank account unless you're legal.  If you employ someone who's illegal, you should be severely punished, fined, water-boarded (tongue in cheek) whatever.  If there are no jobs for these people, there will be very few illegal immigrants, and the ones already here will go home or get in line to become legal.  Let's face it; the government has turned a blind eye to the illegal's & those employing them.  Instead of doing what should be done to protect hard working American citizens and their jobs, we as a people demand cheaper and cheaper goods and services which fuel the illegal immigrant / employment problem.

Kids shouldn't be punished for the crimes of their parents.  How anyone can espouse that is beyond me.  Children of parents who are here illegally shouldn't be deprived of healthcare.  What kink of a nation would do that? However, I'm for enforcing laws and making people accountable.  I  think the illegal problem will diminish or go away if we deal with it properly and not reframe the debate to blame the immigrants for a Governmental problem.  Hell, the terrorist we're supposed to be so scared of wouldn't have been here illegally beyond their legally obtained Visas if we had proper Government enforcement.  The purging of all government is not the solution to every problem.  I'm for vigorous enforcement.
 
In closing, I don't think illegal immigrants are our nation's biggest problem.  If you have holes in your house letting critters in, you'd patch your house.  If we have people setting out bait, we need to deal with them first.

My two cents


Diatribe-9 from Founder#2 (dated 1-5-2008)

Subject: An email conversation with a Republican friend after he commented about politics

Me: standard font
Him: italics

My favorite things about watching the implosion of the so-called "conservative" movement is how they've taken every single one of their failures and tried to paint them as "liberal" sins.

Nice try, Rushbo.

By the way, if gov't has failed you so miserably, don't call a cop next time your house is being broken into. Don't bother calling the fire department either. ...and by the way, stay off the highways that President Eisenhower helped to build - those are "government" projects, you know. And ummm...quit taking a shower and drinking that nice, clean water brought to you by your local government.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen...The United States Government. Fucking your life up since 1776.

You are so delusional, Sir, I don't even know where to start. The only governmental programs that don't work are the ones initiated by Republicans who appoint their cronies to run them and then completely decimate the inner-workings of the system. Then they step back, gaze upon the destruction with mock amazement in their eyes and say, "See! Government programs don't work!!" It's amazing that FEMA has managed to work so well until Bush appointed a showhorse judge to run the agency. "Heckuva job, Brownie!" It's only through intentional incompetence that Republicans have managed to destroy every decent social program put into place to support and protect the middle class. Anyone who can't see through this ploy is either unwilling to admit the truth or too ignorant to grasp it. God knows Halliburton and Blackwater are models of efficiency, honesty, and altruism.  Once the corporatists have convinced the slack-jawed yokels that government "Doesn't Work," then they are free to "Privatize" everything, which is code for raping and plundering.  These people are modern-day Pirates who have conned us into believing that we need them to rescue us!

It is the unchecked zeal with which American corporations can now operate under the banner of "Privatization" that has slowly unwoven the social fabric of this country. How can you explain Exxon/Mobil making profits of ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS A DAY (!!! A DAY!!!) and yet raping us for $3.25 at the pump. Please don't feed me the platitude of "well, if it's too expensive, don't buy it." That's not the point, and you know it. Most Americans are held hostage by their dependence on automobiles to get to work, to get the kids to school, and so forth. We can't simply walk away from the pump, that's not realistic. Also, any fucking high school economics student know that if production costs rise, and you pass those costs on to the consumer that profits remain the same. But they haven't, have they? Because of our "free market" idiocy, these corporations are allowed to operate unfettered, unregulated, unchecked, and unethically. Does it not concern you that their profits are the largest in the history OF THE WORLD , and it's all been borne on our backs? Does it not bother you that your government will not step in to stop this madness? Do you think this is alright because the market will out? Does your free-market dogma tell you it is ok to perform ANY activity, regardless of whom it hurts, degrades, enslaves, or diminishes as long as it's under the guise of the "free market"? If so, then I think you really need to re-evaluate your stance on what it means to be a so-called "christian."

Whether you like it or not, Jesus was a socialist AND a LIBERAL.

...and Jefferson, Madison, et.al., NEVER intended this to be a "Christian Nation." Sorry, O'Reilly. It just ain't true. Once again, the evidence is there for people who actually care to read it. (by the way, I've provided those links many times in the past, but people DON'T WANT TO READ THEM. Why? I guess cuz they're afraid they'll learn that the truth totally contradicts their carefully crafted FOXNEWS version of the world, what with the truth having a well-known liberal bias and all...)


...witness the issue of global warming caused by "human" behavior and
the hypocritical Al Gores of the world shutting down any debate on the
issue,...

They're shutting down ENDLESS debate by people who refuse to acknowledge the simple truth demonstrated and supported by thousands of researchers worldwide proven time and time and time again. They're shutting down ad infinitum debate because the time for debate is long gone. You can't filibuster the future of the planet.  This is a typical Republican tactic - when faced with overwhelming evidence, just keep talking, talking, talking.  When confronted about it, you say that no one will let you talk.  Jeezus, you people drive me nuts.

...witness the democratic candidates refusing any debate on Fox News...

You really, really, REALLY can't be fucking serious about this. Are you?

...witness that if you promote marriage between a man and a woman you are homophobic...

Let's be honest, Sir. It's not the promotion of heterosexual marriage, it's the EXCLUSION of gay marriage that makes you a homophobe. Get your frame straight, sweetie.

...witness that if you wish to enforce and close our borders to illegal immigration you are racist and insensitive to the needs of others,

"and they said unto him, 'Lord, when did we see you naked and not clothe you? When did we see you hungry and not feed you? When did we see you homeless and not give you shelter?' And the Lord answered them by saying, 'Verily I say unto you: whatsoever you do to the least of these, you have done to me.'" Matthew 25-something or other.

Christians. What a fucking joke.

...witness that if you support the free expression of the Christian religious faith and its symbols in the public arena you are forcing Christianity on everyone and violating a mythical and misintrepreted constitutional principle of separation of church and state,

One more soldier in the war on Christmas. Nice job, Don Quixote.

...witness that if you support big business and even small business you are greedy and non-caring for the poor, witness that if you do not support gov't run national health care you don't care for the millions of Americans without health care...shall I go on. How's that for stirring the pot my friend.

When the average CEO pay has gone from 40x the average worker's pay 30 years ago to over 4,000x the average worker pay, we have a problem. When two working parents can't make ends meet, we have a problem. When we have 47 million citizens in the greatest, wealthiest, kindest, gentlest, thousand-points-of-lightest nation on earth without healthcare, we have a problem. Yeah, I call that greed. Don't you?

...Liberals make themselves feel good by promoting and supporting gov't run programs that throw huge amounts of the taxpayers hard earned money to solve social problems. It makes them feel good even though no real progress or solution are achieved...

And it makes you feel good that we DON'T help the poor? Is that what you are saying? What programs are you talking about specifically that have not achieved any solutions? Do you mean the Christo-fascist programs like "Abstinence Only" education that has actually contributed to the RISE in teenage pregnancy? Or do you mean the retarded "No Child Left Behind" debacle that has bankrupted our school systems and only served to remove real education from the classroom and instead replaced it with slavish devotion to bogus testing methodologies? Oh, if you mean those programs, then, yeah, I guess I actually AGREE WITH YOU.

...witness the failure of LBJs Great society program to eradicate poverty,

Only because the debacle in Vietnam served to cripple any growth this program may have caused.

I don't know if the views expressed above are those represented by the majority of Americans or not.  I'm not sure if you're a math teacher or not, but 29% is not a majority


Diatribe-10 from Founder#2 (dated 3-13-2006)

The other day, whilst perusing the interweb, I ran across an article that said a recent opinion poll revealed most Americans know more about the TV show “The Simpsons” than they do about the US Constitution.  “Hmmm…” I said outloud so that I would appear to be deep in concentration rather than screwing around at work, “fascinating.”  Apparently, the US Constitution provides us with five basic freedoms.  Only one out of every 1,000 respondents could name all five freedoms.  Consequently, ONE in FIVE could name all the members of the Simpson’s family.

Without cheating, I will now demonstrate my incredible lack of knowledge of the US Constitution:
Freedom 1: the right to uh…ummmm…(does Grampa count as one of the five Simpsons or is he extra credit?)

OK, so this experiment isn’t really going that well. 

So, why don’t we know more about our Constitution?  Is it because we didn’t pay attention in class?  Surely we must’ve covered that somewhere in 6th grade!  Let me see…6th grade…geometry, basic algebra, english, social studies (oh, yeah, we learned about the Aztecs and built really cool papier mache temples and then sacrificed neighborhood ants on the altar by burning them with magnifying glasses in the hot summer sun).  We also learned how to fold the flag that year and I was one of the chief flag bearers (an honor bestowed only upon the most assiduous of ass-kissers).  Strangely, there’s no Constitution in there.  I remember book reports on Sacagawea, the Bicentennial, Thomas Edison, and Pope John Paul I (“Why Did God Take Him So Soon?”).  We even visited Washington D.C. and saw where John F. Kennedy was buried because he was our only Catholic president. 

Let’s rewind for a minute and try this again:
Freedom 1: Freedom of Speech.  Right?  Right?  You can say whatever you want about the President without being arrested, right?  Hmmm…Cindy Sheehan wore a t-shirt that expressed an anti-war sentiment and was promptly arrested and detained.  So maybe Freedom of Speech isn’t in there…

In 6th grade, we all used to line up around the desks in our classroom with Sister Mary Helen at the head of the class (note to God: I’m sorry for calling her Sister Mary Hell behind her back, OK?).  We would each take a turn reciting one of the Stations of the Cross and then move to the back of the line.  If you missed one or didn’t recite it exactly to a “T”, then you had to sit down.  The last kid standing won a Holy Card, which was sort of like baseball cards for Catholic kids.  On the front was a picture of a saint or most likely the Virgin Mary, or her son, Jesus.  On the back would be a prayer that you would dutifully recite in appreciation for the Blessed Virgin bestowing this bountiful windfall upon you.  We used to have this contest not only for the Stations of the Cross, but for recitation of the Holy Days of Obligation, the books of the Old and New Testament, and other arcane Catholic knowledge that the nuns felt was important for each of us to possess lest we were in a face-to-face showdown with the Devil himself.  “OK, Satan, what’s the FIFTH Holy Day of the year?  Huh?  HUH?”  Confounded by our limitless storehouse of all things Catholic, the Devil would erupt in smoke and be dispatched back to Hades where he could cavort with the non-believers, kids who ate hotdogs on Friday during Lent, and the Jews.

Well, at least this how the nuns told it to us.  But I digress...

OK, let’s have another go at the Constitution.
Freedom 2: the government can’t tell you what to believe when it comes to religion.  Isn’t that one of them?  Like how the government can’t decide for you when a cell becomes a fetus and when a fetus becomes a baby and all that stuff.  That’s more or less up to each person to decide since it’s kind of a matter or one’s own religious beliefs, isn’t it?  It isn’t?  Oh.  Now that the Republicans control the House, the Senate, the White House, and the Supreme Court, they’re going to make that decision for us, you say?  Oh, well, at least I get one on a technicality.

Freedom 3: the police can’t come into your house without good reason.  “Unreasonable Search and Seizure” is what it’s called, I think.  In other words, you are protected against the police or government coming into your house and snooping around listening to your telephone calls, reading your mail, checking your bank records, asking your librarian what books you’ve read lately, seizing Google records to find out if you’ve been surfing porn websites, looking in your underwear drawer, and all that kind of stuff.  Thank God THAT never happens in the good ‘ole USA!  Yee-HAW!

I’ll admit I don’t have a clue as to the others.  It’s a shameful admission and I suppose it just confirms what we have known all along: we don’t know ding-dang-doodly about our own country.  But since I've disproven the three "freedoms" I guessed at, I suppose they aren't actually in the Constitution. 

Here's my last-ditch effort at guessing these five "freedoms":
1. the freedom to fight terrorism anytime, anyplace.  No matter what.  No matter how many other "freedoms" you have to give up to beat the terrorists.
2. the freedom to spread democracy around the world.  Even if it's not wanted or welcomed with flowers and chocolates.
3. the freedom to be a reformed coke-head, claim to talk to Jesus, and get elected President of the United States
4. the freedom to be a total dipshit. (see #3 above)
5. the freedom to "Support the Troops!"  Or else.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to open up a bottle of Duff, sit back and watch Homer, Bart, Marge, Lisa, Maggie AND Grandpa!


Diatribe-11 from Founder#2 (dated 2-4-2005) In response to a chain email re: liberals taking away prayer in school.

Ugh.  'm really getting sick of the incessant proselytizing going on in this country.  I'm starting to think that all of the so-called Christians in this country are glassy-eyed, retarded, drooling automatons.  Day by day, these idiots are becoming less and less tolerant of anyone who's not a white, anglo-saxon, Chevy-driving Patriot.

We're turning into Nazi Germany slowly but surely.  You watch. 

This kind of stuff panders to the lowest, stupidest, Nascar-watching, flag-waving, beer-swilling idiots on the planet.  And all the freakin' local yokels fall for it hook, line, and sinker EVERY TIME.

OF COURSE prayer is allowed in schools, you fucking idiots!  It's just not allowed to be organized and forced by the schools themselves.  There is no law prohibiting a child from praying silently at his or her desk, or at the lunch table (as my very intelligent buddy points out!!).  There's probably not even a law prohibiting children from praying outloud as long as they're not disruptive.  There is no law banning the formation of Christian afterschool groups, either, contrary to what some people will tell you.  Jeezus, do you people ever read anything for yourselves or do you just regurgitate this stupid pabulum you and your inbred bible-thumping internet buddies continually circulate around the internet?  Judging by the fact that you are still waiting for your $50 Chili's gift certificate for forwarding that email to all your friends, I would say "Not".

Goddamned fucking stupid retarded Christian zealots.  Fuck, I'm going to switch to Judaism.  Assholes like these give Christians a bad name. 

Ugh.

I'm starting to see it in my own church.  I'm so sick of it all...all the talk of evangelizing and bringing God back, and church mission statements, and strategic plans...on and on....I just wanna go to church and say my prayers!!!  I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!!  (...don't say it!)  Do I have to show my membership card at the door of the church?!?  Who's cashing the checks here?

Sorry.  This is the FOURTH email I've gotten today about crap like this. 

I"m just sick of it all.

...and scared.

Diatribe-12 from Founder#2 (dated 4-5-2005) posted to a pro-Bush, pro-war website

Your website is real good.  Thank God for people like George W. Bush.  He really upholds the morale values set fourth by our founding fathers.  I was so happy to see that our country figured out wich side was Right and which one was WRONG for our nation!  The Klinton’s, Kerries, and Kennedy’s (KKK) will bring down this great country with their libral ideas and imorale acts.  They don’t know the first thing about sacrafice, hard work, or the greater good.  THOSE are the thing that made the United States of America the leader of the free world.  The swift boat heros proved that Kerry was a liar, at least George Bush was brave enough to serve fro real in the Air Force.  He wore that uniform with pride.  
Bill KKKlinton said that he didn’t inhale pot.  HE LIED.  Sure, George Bush had some problems drugs and alcohol, but like a true cowboy and a fighter he beat them and became a better man because of it.  Who can you trust a guy who lies about wether he smoked pot or a man who faces his problems in the face and stares at them and beats them because he told the truth about them?  Whos’ the better man?  Bill KKKlinton couldn’t tell the truth to save his life.  Librals say the President lied about the Iraq war.  He only did the best he could with the information he had.  He had the best interest of the US in his mind and protecting our people and making sure that the Talaban was put down like a sick hunting dog.  He don’t care about poles and what people think, or if he will get caught with a girl in the White House.  He does whats’ right all the time.  (I’m sorry if my typings not good, I’m just a proud American and I love my country and Thank God for people like you.  I wish George Bush could stay in the White House until we are back to the way this country was before libralists ruined it.  
Back in the days of not being afraid to walk down the street when everyone looked like you and it wasn’t so scarey to be out late at night.  When people knew their place and stuck with their own kind and we didn’t have to listen to people who dont believe in our God or the 10 commandments being on display next to our Christmas decoration.  Please bring us back, Mr. Bush.  We love you, and the USA and God Bless you.

I get so proud when I see the good people of our Congress and Senate and House of Representatives fighting to keep what’s good and holy about the USA in place so that it don’t get ruined by liberals and lezbians.  My heart fills with God-loving joy when people stand up for what’s right.  Dan Burton (R, Indnana) is a good example of a man who has got his priorities right.  He is totally against homosexual weddings.  Even though Rep. Burton has a bastard nigger baby, it don’t matter because I know he’ll stop the faggits from getting married.

Tom Delay (R, Texas) is another man of fine upstanding stature who’s not afraid to take on librals.  Thank God men like Tom Delay were around to help impeach Bill KKKlinton.  (If he got impeached, how come he didn’t have to leave the White House?)  His example with the Terry Shaivo case shows that he has God on his side.  Tom DeLay blasted the judiciary members involved in the Terri Schiavo case, threatening that they will have to "answer" for their interpretation of the law. "This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change,' House Majority Leader Tom DeLay added in a statement issued hours after Schiavo's death at a Florida hospice. 'The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior," said the Texan." [Associated Press, 4/1/05] Speaking with reporters in Houston, DeLay said lawmakers will target "an arrogant and out of control judiciary that thumbs its nose at Congress and the president."  So if these lilly-livered COMMYS who run our courts can’t take the heat, they better watch out for TOM DELAY.  Go get ‘em Tommy!  He’s not afraid to make veiled threats to Supreme Court Justices or any other homo trying to run our country.  He is a very busy man, yet he took the time to try to save ONE WOMAN’S LIFE!  This shows that every life is important to Tom Delay.  Unfortunately, he has to spend so much time defending his honor, I don’t know how he gets anything done.  Look at what the LIBRALS and COMMYS are accusing this great leader (and if you ask me, the NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE USA) of doing:
-  In 2002, executives at Kansas energy company Westar wrote a memo outlining how they could purchase a "seat at the table" with $56,500 in contributions to political committees associated with Tom DeLay and the GOP.
-  Tom DeLay and the Republican leadership kept open the vote for the Medicare bill for three hours -- long past the 15 minutes specified in House procedures -- in order to pressure Republicans to vote for the bill. Rep. Nick Smith (R-MI) said GOP leaders offered "bribes and special deals," leading to an investigation by the Ethics Committee, which admonished DeLay.
-  When DeLay and his fellow Republicans were redrawing the Congressional districts in Texas to push Democrats out of the House, he used the Federal Aviation Administration to try and track a plane containing Democratic state legislators. The House Ethics Committee investigated DeLay's actions and once again admonished him.
-  Tom DeLay has pushed lobbying firms to deny jobs to Democrats, and hire only Republicans, resulting in another Ethics Committee admonishment for inappropriately pushing a lobbying firm to hire a former GOP congressman. DeLay has pressured GOP lobbyists to make contributions to Republican candidates and the RNC.
-  In Texas, it's illegal for corporations to make donations to fund political campaigns. So Tom DeLay's Texans for a Republican Majority political action committee (TRMPAC) took $190,000 in corporate contributions and funneled them to the RNC, which then donated exactly $190,000 to TRMPAC-supported candidates. DeLay and TRMPAC are currently under investigation by a grand jury.
-  Knowing that he faced investigation for a growing pile of scandals, Tom DeLay and the GOP House leadership purged the Ethics Committee of Republicans -- including Chairman Joel Hefley (R-CO) -- who weren't willing to overlook charges against DeLay, replacing them with members loyal to the leadership. They then changed the Committee rules to make it more difficult to begin investigations.
HOW CAN THE LIBARAL MEDIA GET AWAY WITH THESE LIES LIES LIES LIES?!?!  PLEASE ANSWER THAT ONE FOR ME, I AM SO MAD AT LIBARALS.  GO TEXANS!  YEEE-HAWW!

Well, that’s all I got for now.  Keep up the good faith of God, my good man.  Oh, before I forget, I was a *little* disappointed to see that you had a picture of “John Wayne” on your cowboys list.  “John Wayne” aka Marrion Morrison was a known closet homosexual and a turd burglar.

Peace Be With You,


Diatribe-13 from Founder#2 (dated 9-16-2005)

Who served?  The hypocrisy of the Republican party is mind-boggling.  My literary hero, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., calls them a bunch of "power-drunk chimpanzees."


George W. Bush: six-year Nat’l Guard commitment (in four years) with father’s help; questions about his service remain.
Dick Cheney: did not serve.
Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
Tom Delay: did not serve.
House Whip Roy Blunt: did not serve.
Bill Frist: did not serve.
Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
George Pataki: did not serve.
Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
Rick Santorum: did not serve.
Trent Lott: did not serve.
John Ashcroft: did not serve.
Jeb Bush: did not serve.
Karl Rove: did not serve.
Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. “Bad knee.” The man who attacked Max Cleland’s patriotism.
Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
Vin Weber: did not serve.
Richard Perle: did not serve.
Douglas Feith: did not serve.
Eliot Abrams: did not serve.
Richard Shelby: did not serve.
Jon Kyl: did not serve.
Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
Christopher Cox: did not serve.
Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
Donald Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as aviator and flight instructor.
Ronald Reagan: made war propaganda movies.
Gerald Ford: Navy, WWII
Phil Gramm: did not serve.
JC Watts: did not serve.
Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
Clarence Thomas: did not serve

Pundits & Preachers
Sean Hannity: did not serve.
Rush Limbaugh: did not serve
Bill O’Reilly: did not serve.
Michael Savage: did not serve.
George Will: did not serve.
Chris Matthews: did not serve.
Paul Gigot: did not serve.
Bill Bennett: did not serve.
Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
Bill Kristol: did not serve.
Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
Michael Medved: did not serve


Diatribe-14 from Founder#2 (dated 9-22-2005) (forwarded e-mail - author unknown)

How do you determine the difference between Democrats, Republicans or Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and charges. You are carrying a 1911 Colt .45 auto and you are an expert shot. You have mere split-seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say abut this situation?
Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!



Diatribe-15 from Founder#2 (dated 10-27-2005) (modified e-mail forward)

Subject: The New Version with a new ending STRIKES BACK
 
Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, where illegal immigrants were hired and paid far less than a fair living wage, (well, we're doing them a FAVOR, aren't we??)  there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard that used to belong to a hard-working, second-generation Mexican-American hen, (until the property was declared "uninhabitable" by Republicans who rezoned her district and then bought the property for themselves for one-tenth of its original value) until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat that were left behind by the hard-working, second-generation Mexican-American hen who was evicted from the property without a thought. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "This wheat is worthless.  There is no point in owning this wheat.  This wheat does no one any good...[whispers] if we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat.  Now, who will help me keep it quiet?"
 
"Not I," said the cow.
 "Not I," said the duck.
 "Not I," said the pig.
 "Not I," said the goose.
 "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.    
 
 The wheat grew very tall and ripened into very obvious golden grain.
 "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen to closest advisors.  "Hmmm...Attention everyone!" said the little red hen.  "This wheat is very, very dangerous!  We need to cut it down immediately before it makes us all sick!  Now, I don't want to trouble you, so my brother, the little red rooster will cut it all down for you, but since it's for everyone's benefit that we get rid of it, I'm asking that each one of you pay my brother to do the work."
 "Huh?" said the duck.
 "Are you kiddin' me?" said the pig.
 "What the fuck?" said the cow.
 "Asshole," said the goose.
The little red hen was dismayed.  "You are not worthy to be a barnyard animal if you are not afraid of this dangerous wheat!"  And so the duck, the pig, the cow, and the goose all paid for the little red rooster to cut down the wheat...but not the swans, because the swans were beautiful and already had all the wheat they needed, so the swans were not made to pay. 
 
 At last it came time to bake the bread.
 "OK - May I have your attention?  We were wrong about that wheat being bad...sorry.  But now we need someone to bake it - so...the barnyard children will bake the bread for me" declared the little red hen.  "But not mine own, for they are far too busy clucking around."
 "I'm not comfortable with this" said the cow, but he was called "unbarnyard-like" by the swans.
 "First it was bad, now it's good?" asked the duck - but his voice was drowned out by the quacking of the other less-intelligent ducks who thought the hen's fucked-up plan sounded ok to their little duck brains.
 "I would be glad to help if we share in the effort of our labor equally" said the pig, but he was tried and found guilty by a tribunal of hens for being a communist.
 "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose - and he was right.
 "Well don't look at me, I've never baked bread before," said the little red hen.
 
 Five loaves were baked and the hen held them up for all of her neighbors to see.  They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share, since there was plenty to go around and they were willing to pay a fair price for it, too. The little red hen said, "Su-u-u-u-u-u-re...you can have some.  My cousin the peacock runs the store where you can buy it.  Because this is SPECIAL FREEDOM BREAD, it's going to cost you a little more.  We're all in this together remember?"  [winks at the swans] 
 "But it's three times the normal cost!" cried the cow.   "Yes," said the litte red hen, "but FREEDOM BREAD isn't FREE."
 "Why do your cousins and brothers get all the profits?" screamed the duck.  "Next question!" shouted the little red hen.
 "I know you are lying, there are really 10 loaves, the English Hare told me so.  I demand to know what happened to the other 5!" yelled the goose.  However, the little red hen began to circulate a lie that the gander was screwing around with a little chick on the side.
 The pig just grunted in disdain. 
 And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.  Because that was their right as free-range animals.
 
 Then a wise old owl came, he said to the little red hen, "Who put you in charge?"
 "But it is my birthright!" said the little red hen. "My daddy said so."
 "OK," said the agent. "But all animals must vote on whether you get to be head of the barnyard - except you black sheep over there, you can't vote."  The day of the election came, and you can guess what happened...
 
And they all lived in blissful animal ignorance including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "A dictatorship is a good idea...as long as I'm the dictator." 
 
Weapons of Mass Destruction = LIE
9/11 was a plot by Saddam Hussein = LIE
Al Queda training bases hidden in Iraq = LIE
Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, or Scooter Libby didn't expose Valarie Plame = LIE
Halliburton "misplaced" EIGHT BILLION DOLLARS.  2000+ American men and women dead for what?  To bring a more restrictive, totalitarian regime than even the Taliban to Iraq?
Exxon/Mobil records the largest single profit in the history of the world while Americans are paying more at the pump?

A record trillion-dollar surplus is turned into the largest deficit in US history.
Bush is supposedly a caring, compassionate, PRO-LIFE CHRISTIAN...but more inmates were executed under his governorship than in any state at any time.  We cry and mourn the 3,000 dead at the World Trade Center, but 100,000 innocent Iraqi men, women, and children have died in our MARCH TOWARD  DEMOCRACY!

 
 IS THIS A FUCKED UP COUNTRY, OR WHAT?

 Diatribe-16 from Founder #2 dated 12-21-2006 (One of the posts that started it all...)

Oh, man.  This stuff makes my blood boil.

It just absolutely kills me that the majority of the people who support Regan and the Bushes are the people who can least afford it.  They've drunk the "Tax Cut Kool-Aid" for so long, they can't see how it is destroying the fabric of our society.  We ALL have an obligation to pay for the commons (fire, police, infrastructure, and education chief amongst them). 

It just cracks me up that the very people who bitch about "what happened to our good old Middle Class America where Mom stayed home and baked cookies all day?" are the very ones who brought about it's demise by voting for Reagan, Bush, and Bush.  These are the architects of the Middle Class destruction.  These people and their cronies are so wealthy that they can afford to pay for things such as medical expenses out of pocket and don't need the social services that were put in place in the past.  Anyway the point is - they have what they need so fuck everyone else, right?.  The social safety nets that were so important to building the middle class have all been stripped away one by one by these conservatives.  The joke is, the idiots who support them never saw it coming.